Dear World,
You know, if you think about it, we are all a bunch of losers. We really are, but dont break down and slit your wrists or anything after reading this (that means you, anonymous reader with the knife). There is nothing wrong with being a loser in this world. I mean come on, it could be worse, you culd be a crazed cult leader who killed millions of his own people, only to eventualy be screwed by his own deal when he was put on the America's Most Wanted list. Then in a bizarre sequence of events, (well, actually, it's not been that bizzare really it was more traumatizing, we'll get back to that) drove a few terrorists into a state of vulnerability that lead them to the false conclusion that if they flew some planes into two buildings, (I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just not going to make it sound like it was any better) and a military facility, they would be able to have endless pleasure with 40 virgins in a heaven-like state. (*fhew*) And finally, ten years later you could have made a list of horrible, horrible, things that we, as a country have all gathered and agreed that you are the most evil person/place/thing, in the entire world, ends up with a bullet wound to the face, and is now drowning at the bottom of the sea where no one could ever care about you ever again. You know that sounds really familiar, huh, must be something I read.
So you see you dont need to worry, being a loser can be kinda fun. Well, that is all for this letter.
Write Back Soon,
Benjamin Morgan
